Week of June 30

You are off!! I am pumped you are on your way to Jackson, boy do I
miss those mountains, all mountains really. I was showing a family
pictures of mountains and the snow from June. They were firstly
flabbergasted at the prospect that it could have snowed in summer and
secondly at the enormity of our little Rockies. It is always to swap
memories with people who are also so far away from their real home. It
seems to me everyone makes sacrifices for things they love. We talked.
Lot about that this past Sunday. I had the opportunity  of teaching
gospel principles  this week. The teacher was going to be out of town
so who do you call? The missionaries! It was good, though kind of
scary to start. The lesson was on tithing, and paying a full honest
one to boot. The part that made it a little sketchy was that right out
of the gates is a rather recent convert asked, "so are you saying that
because I am a single mom of 3 children with limited work
opportunities and I pay what I can I am not honest with God?" In my
mind I said, shoot, I'm dead. I told her that we are going to talk
about the importance of exercising faith in god through exact
obedience and that she should think about her question and that we
will discuss it later. It was most certainly a panicky run on sentence
when I said it. She said okay and we moved into a actually very
powerful "platica" about exercise faith through the paying of tithing,
and how really it is more a principle of faith as opposed to something
just concerned with finances. The most impressive part was that many
of the most impactful experiences and testimonies were from converts
who had many of the same questions. On top of everything, one of our
investigators whose largest obstacles was tithing came to me three
times throughout the day to tell us how good the lesson was. That was
great.

This past week has been a breakthrough for me in a couple of ways. One
of the main ones has been my ability to recognize the spirit. I have
seen a noticeable difference in how I feel while I teach and when I
pray. Before I felt like I was I was grappling at smoke with slippery
hands, but now I catch hold to something now and again, and it is
consistent. That is the best part. Before it was now and again, now it
is every few days. That is the best divine help I could imagine. I
deeply appreciate the hand of God in my life.

I think that writing has helped me A LOT. I have been writing in my
journal again, and consistently. Reflecting on my experience through
deep thought has changed how I remember things. The more I think about
that it reminds me of how often the scriptures tell us to remember.
This life is all about remembering what we have received. I think that
is why God hasn't given me more, I would just forget. Ha, funny how
things work. I love where I am and where in am and where I am going.

I am struggling in many aspects as you would expect, because who
wouldn't be. I, however, am confident in who guides me.

Love//

Elder Bigelow